Recent turn of events

So... it has been brought to my attention that I am a "very depressed individual" now, this completely caught me off guard, but so far, everyone i've spoken to about this seems to completely agree. So now I turn to you bloggers. You who have heard me rant on and on about days that have passed. Am I really a person who sees the glass as half empty? Because apparently I don't know.

I don't want to lose control

I've learned in the last couple of days that I am not willing ot accept change. I realize that everyone wants out of Utah as soon as possible, except for the canadians who can't wait to get in and take our place. But I just don't know. The one person who I want to hear this the most isn't ever going to read it because she has turned her back on this whole electronic world. But I for one am NOT ready to leave everything behind me. I mean sure, Things aren't perfect. but for once in my life, I'm happy with where I'm at... I guess I just don't want to lose that. I'm not afraid of change. I'm afraid that I can't control it.

I miss Mike and Sara... And Shamae, and Lance and Anthony, and Gaspar, and those countless other people who have left me stranded here in this desert wasteland. I'm not worried about growing up, in fact I embrace it. But I AM worried about loss. With Mike and Sara in Canada, and Jenesse perhaps going to Ireland for school, Brittany to S.U.U. and coutless other friends leaving. I'm afraid that when I get back from my mission i will find myself...

Alone.

Dispondent.

Dejected.

And abandoned.

Yeah I'm happy, but this crand new skin is wearing thin. And no one will ever know until it's gone. I heard a song today. and I miss the old days when we didn't have to worry about change or losing friends. I hate not being in control of my environment, I always have. And I've realized I have no say in an of this...


And it scares me to death.

This was.......... Unexpectd. I say it's wrong.

I AM 73% EMO! Well.. I've made the cut! Now I'll go buy some promise rings and knit myself a sweater. Take the EMO test at Fuali.com

Dang... Straight...

Colin Mochrie


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