Sunday, October 31, 2004

Really REALLY good song...

I have given up (for now...) on attempting to whittle down my c.d. content, so I will just post a song that I have lately found a connection to. Enjoy!

Perfect World
by Simple Plan

I never could have seen this far
I never could have seen this coming
It seems like my world's falling apart
Why is everything so hard
I don't think that I can deal with the things you said
They just won't go away

In a perfect world this could never happen
In a perfect world you'd still be here
And it makes no sense
I could just pick up the pieces but to you
This means nothing, nothing at all

I used to think that I was strong
Until the day it all went wrong
I think I need a miracle to make it through
I wish that I could bring you back
I wish that I could turn back time
Cuz I can't let go, I just can't find my way
Without you I just can't find my way

In a perfect world this could never happen
In a perfect world you'd still be here
And it makes no sense
I could just pick up the pieces but to you
This means nothing, nothing at all

I don't know what I should do now
I don't know where I should go
I'm still here waiting for you
I'm lost when you're not around
I need to hold on to you
I just can't let you go

In a perfect world this could never happen
In a perfect world you'd still be here
And it makes no sense
I could just pick up the pieces but to you
This means nothing, nothing at all

You feel nothing, nothing at all...

Monday, October 25, 2004


Well, as we all know (or will find out v-e-r-y soon...) Shamae is moving. I know that I will miss her sooooooooo bad....and I'm pretty sure that many other people will miss her too. So, I'd just like to make a post in honor of Shmoo, Co-President/Founder of the Spacial Club.

I'd like to start off by telling you about a few of the things that I love about Shamae the most. First, she is always the one who knocks some sense into me when I'm being retarded. She knows just what to say when I am about to make a HUGE mistake, and she prevents me (most of the time...unless I'm being stubborn to the max) from doing something I will regret. Also, she stands up for what is right, and is an all around good person. She makes me laugh so much. We have waaay too many inside jokes, but that's okay - because they are things that make me smile when I am having a hard day, and no one can take away our memories together. I have done and said some really stoopid and mean stuff to Shamae and yet, she forgave me and never gave up on me. She is always trying to tell me how smart or sassy or spacial I am, and even though I always get mad at compliments, she still tries. She always tells me how much I mean to her, and I hope she knows that even if I don't always say it back....she means a lot to me too.

Shamae is one of my best friends and I will miss her soooo much. I can't even put it into words how much I will miss not having her around to sit on her roof with, or to vent to on IM, or to get mad at when she makes fun of my cheerleader tendencies, or to get free food at Fazoli's, or to get mad at for stealing my flag/sign, or to use big words like "contradicting" when I am angry, or to drink Shamae Mix, or to make fun of my tongue abilities, or to watch her over-protectiveness when I run away with Canadians to cabins, or to finally see the hottest man in the world and have him turn out to be hideous, or to argue about how much better "rough" is, or to convert her to the mug o' beer side from the martini side, or to dream about all the things we want to do someday, or to watch my mom kick her out of my house, or to freak out when we have an awkward silence caused by having too much to say to each other, or to tell her about the evil twelve-year-olds, or to talk about Galt and the ultimate coolness of that name, or to draw stars and have her make chickens out of them, or to explain that I am hot and that's all that matters, or to buy penguin footballs that actually turn out to be crows, or to wear her tie and have my cat end up burying it, or to steal her "I Heart Pirates" wristband because I am attracted to it, or to dream of someday living on Justasmall Lane, or to attempt to find her a cat, or to watch "dirty" movies like "How To Lose A Guy in Ten Days," or to see her "don't be an mule" shirt, or to make fun of "happy trees", or to have my handwriting rock her socks off, or to tell her just one more time about how much I miss Jeffrey, or to listen to her talk about her soulmate, or to have orange envelopes with "cb" cards, or to count how many times I snort, or to randomly call out "turdbummers you f-hole, I'm having an apostrophe!!" or to idolize the color green with, or to go on dates with (hee hee...I loooove your mom!!), or to watch her spill food every time she comes to my house and flip out, or to make up words like "whoi", or to have her call me Squegee, or to refuse to play my violin, or to dream about doing the drunken scene from Nunsense with, or to carve "Shmogee" on the tables at Sonic, or to eat Oatmeal Creme Pies with, or to cut pineapples on her roof and flick the remnants into her evil neighbor's yard, or to wake up the next day and find the pineapple remnants all stacked up in a little pile on her front porch, or to spill Mr. Criman's drink on his keyboard because we were being "cuh-razy," or to inform people what to do if you don't know what to do with your hands, or to make fun of the musical people and their "how do YOU do" songs, or to step on apple pie and never be able to get it off my shoe, or to put tacks on our shoes so they make tapping noises and bug the crap out of Kristi, or to fight over The Cheat and the lead singer of Yellowcard with, or to beat each other with sprinkler flags, or to go splashing in the reflecting pool at the park, or to talk about frolicking in the rain together but never finding the right moment to, or to listen to fabulous music with(we always seem to like the same stuff...), or to find really soft...ANYTHING...and stroke it, or to dream of someday being 5'6", or to try and hide signs in random church parking lots or behind ivy on walls, or to have her ALWAYS leave something in my car, or to feed the ducks with, or to actually plan going to Cali ON THE TRAIN!!! Or to just be "sealy" with...I could go on and on and make a list a gazillion miles long about all the things I will miss about Shamae, but I don't think I have room here...

I know that this move is the best thing for Shamae to do, otherwise she wouldn't have chosen it. And I would just like to end by saying that I support her decision all the way and I may miss her, but I know she will be happiest in Cali with extended family and most especially, her mom.


4 weeks, 3 days, 7 hours, and 20 minutes

4 weeks, 3 days, 7 hours, and 20 minutes - that's how long I was free. That's how long I could think and act for myself without being under someone else's control. Without having someone always looking down on me. That's how much closer I was to being truly happy. Why do people try so hard to make you miserable? Why do they keep hurting you, and saying that it is only out of love, and yet, you know that if they really did care, they wouldn't hurt you... Why do they keep reopening the wound and scratching at it? They tell you that you are worthless and yet, they keep you around. If you are really as stupid, and ugly, and selfish as they say you are, why do they want you here so badly? Why can't they just let me be happy for once in my life...why can't they let me find peace? Home is suppose to be a place of refuge. Somewhere that you go to get away from it all...

On another note: Why do people care so deeply and then throw it all away? Why do they say that they would do anything for you, just so you can smile and really mean it again - and yet they, in the end, are the cause of your pain? They are the reason you can't smile anymore... Why do their eyes light up whenever they think of you, see you, or your name is mentioned, and then, suddenly, one day they hate you? Why do they stop talking to you, and let everything fall apart, and then blame it all on you? Why do they write songs about you that show how much they care, and yet never share them....and then write songs about you that tell how much they hate you, and sing it in front of the entire school? Why do they tell people you "have problems" and that its all your fault? Why do they not work things out when you are ready to and then expect you to work things out when they finally want it? And why do they want to work things out for all the wrong reasons? Why do they expect everything to be how it used to be, when you can never go back to the way it was?

Why do they end up with your best friend?

I refuse to trust again...

Wednesday, October 20, 2004


I got hurt today, so i decided to take some time to soak in the bathtub, I was laying with my face beneath the water looking at the ceiling throught the water. and I realized it. I'm happy, not like hey, today was a good day, (because it wasn't) it was more of a "My life is going good right now, and I love where I'm at and who I'm with," kind of happy. And I know why, it is you guys, so i am going to thank the people who have helped me. First and formost, Sara, because I can talk to her about anything. Brittany, because she put me in the mindset that changed my life for the better. Jenesse, for being there for me when i needed a friend to scream to (or at) i couldn't have made it through a lot of this without your support. Mariette, because you are my best friend, and i feel you know me better than I know myself, and at times, i need that. Tasha, for proving me wrong all the time. I hate it, but your determination makes me laugh. Kristi, becausse I don't talk to you enough, but I know that you would let me if I had to. Nina, because you always have a smile on your face, it brings me up and i'm sure your optomistic outlook does the same for many others. Shamae, because you know what I am saying, ALWAYS, even when I'm not talking. Chase, because your natural push for perfection sets the example for me to want to better myself, I look up to you, remmeber that. Sousa, because everyone needs an arch rival to push themself. i feel you are better than me, and it makes me push for improvement, and i need that. Jenn (sara's friend) because you seem to show support for me even though you have never met me, i admire the character and the example that you set for others even though we don't know eachother. Meaghan, you were the first canadian to accept me, and even though we no longer talk, i still see you as a VERY close friend. These are only people on blogger, if someone else reads this, takl to me and i will give you yours personally.

Friends, thank you all.

You have made me happy, And I mean TRULY happy.

Tuesday, October 19, 2004


The last time I put a game on her some people took it personally, so I would like to mention that I had no one in mind when I poasted this game... but it kicks and it's violent without blood, so give her a go

G.I. Joes and other random thoughts...

So, as I was talking to Sousa today, we happened upon the subject of childhood toys. That brings us to the item known as: "G.I. Joes" Let me just say that Sousa had some very... peculiar ....names for some of his beloved soldiers. So, that got me thinking. All of us were young once and carefree, and had some very wild imaginations. I'm sure we've all got those favorite toys that we loved too much (thus resulting in the stuffing falling out and limbs being pulled off, etc...) that had the unusual name that no one could quite figure out where the crap you came up with it. For example, I had a crocheted green giraffe that I absolutely ~LOVED~. Only, I called it Horse. Why? I have no idea. So, what are some of your bizarre childhood toy's names? Come on....confession time. Don't hold anything back!

Sunday, October 17, 2004


Well...this is Jenesse. Yes, you heard me. THE SHORT ONE!!!!! And all I can say is that mine and Asay's blog (that is correct, you are NOT seeing things) is going rule the universe!

In the words of Asay: "Eat it punks...our blog is taking over!"

Friday, October 15, 2004

Just so you know

We kicked the butt at Hillcrest, our guys doubled their score and hey... so did our girls. We couldn't have done it without the amazing pump mix I furnished for the team that was playing in the background of everyone's heads in the midst of their swims.

For those of you you who what the crap swimming times are like... I went a 1:03 in my 100 back, a :27 in my 50 back, and a :56 in my 100 free... go MV!

Wednesday, October 13, 2004

Questions to get your brain a work out

Pensive Questions

If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to see it, do the other trees make fun of it?

What's the speed of dark?

Do cemetery workers prefer the graveyard shift?

Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?

Can a storm be officially designated as a tornado without touching down at a trailer park?

Can atheists get insurance for acts of God?

Can I yell MOVIE in a crowded firehouse?

Can you be a closet claustrophobic?

After they make styrofoam, what do they ship it in?

How did a fool and his money GET together?

How do you know when it's time to tune your bagpipes?

If con is the opposite of pro, then what is the opposite of progress?

If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?

Should you trust a stockbroker who's married to a travel agent?

If a stealth bomber crashes in a forest, will it make a sound?

If a train station is where the train stops, what is a work station?

If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?

If all those psychics know the winning lottery numbers, why are they all still working?

If the pen is mightier than the sword, and a picture is worth a thousand words, how dangerous is a fax?

If you throw a cat out a car window, does it become kitty litter?

Sooner or later, doesn't EVERYONE stop smoking?

What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?

Why are there 5 syllables in the word 'monosyllabic'?

Why do banks charge you a 'non-sufficient funds fee' on money they already know you don't have?

Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

What year did Jesus think it was?

If corn oil comes from corn, where does baby oil come from?

Is there another word for synonym?

If the only thing to survive a plane crash is the black box, why don't they make the whole plane out of the black box?

What if there were no hypothetical questions?

If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?

If quitters never win, and winners never cheat, who's the idiot that said: Quit while you're ahead?

What are Preparation A through Preparation G?

If knees were backward, what would chairs look like?

In a country of free speech, why are there phone bills?

Why is it that when a man talks dirty to a woman, it's sexual harassment, but when a woman talks dirty to a man, it's $3.95/minute?

Did Washington flash a quarter when asked for ID?

How do you tell when you run out of invisible ink?

Why is Greenland icy, and Iceland green?

Why do doctors call what they do practice?

How do 'Do Not Walk On Grass' signs get there?

Why do black olives come in cans and green olives come in jars?

Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

How do I set my laser printer on stun?

How is it possible to have a civil war?

If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?

If God dropped acid, would he see people?

If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?

If you ate pasta and anti pasta, would you still be hungry?

Why are haemorrhoids called 'haemorrhoids' instead of 'asteroids'?

Could crop circles be the work of a cereal killer?

Crime doesn't pay... does that mean my job is a crime?

Did Noah keep his bees in archives?

How can someone draw a blank?

How can there be self-help GROUPS?

How come wrong numbers are never busy?

If you're in a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens when you turn on the headlights?

Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

Why do fat chance and slim chance mean the same thing?

Why do we kill people for killing people to show that killing is wrong?

Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin?

Why is it that night falls but day breaks?

Why is it you must wait until night to call it a day?

Why is your index finger the same size as your nostrils?

What if the Hokey Pokey IS what it's all about?

Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive?

What happened to the first 6 'ups'?

Why Do kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Are part-time band leaders semi-conductors?

If 7-11 is open 24-7 and 365 days a year why do they have locks on their doors?

If you mix milk of magnesia with vodka and orange juice, do you get a Phillip's screw driver?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

How come the bullets that work are fired, and the ones that don't work are not?

Who's cruel idea was is to put the 's' in lisp?

How can you be ALONE with somebody? Think about it...

Does Mr. Rogers really want us to be his neighbor?

Why did Mr. & Mrs. Howell pack so much clothing for a three hour tour?

If a book about failure doesn't sell, is it a success?

My Wicked Shirt Ideas

Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change.

The beatings will continue until morale improves.

I used up all my sick days, so I'm calling in dead.

There cannot be a crisis today; my schedule is already full.

I don't have a solution but I admire the problem.

A conclusion is simply the place where you got tired of thinking.

If at first you DO succeed, try not to look astonished!

Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie!'...till you can find a rock.

Diplomacy - the art of letting someone have your way.

Don't be so open-minded your brains fall out.

Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

If I want your opinion, I'll ask you to fill out the necessary forms.

Don't look back, they might be gaining on you.

It's not hard to meet expenses, they're everywhere.

Help Wanted: Telepath. You know where to apply.

Look out for #1. Don't step in #2.

Budget: A method for going broke methodically

Half of the people in the world are below average.

Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself. -- Mark Twain

The only difference between me and a madman is that I am not mad. -- Salvador Dali

Sunday, October 10, 2004

Exactly what I needed

I got back from my trip to Park City for the swim team yesterday. I have never had a harder work out in my life and I loved every single minute of it. I stayed up that entrire night and had a "soul calibur off" In which i came out victorious. I'm upset that i couldn't go to shakespeare, but I think my time was worth while. I think i had as much fun as annyone else (and i got the workout of my life) I have realized that i like to hurt in practice. It's weird for me because i was always a slacker becasue of pain, but now i've learned to embrace and even enjoy it. I think there is something seriously wrong with me (I'm a weirdo) I've noticed that people have stopped replying to everyone's blog so even if you don't reply to mine, reply to eachothers... just cuz that's the cool thing to do.

Saturday, October 02, 2004

Heart Monitor

Heart Monitor
Originally uploaded by just call me hot.
This is one thing i will never forget. I went to get a physical for swim (a routine thing in the life of an athlete) But not all was ok. They found aa problem with my blood, they thought it might have been the explination to my problem with blacking out whenever I stand up. So then they decided it was most likely a problem with my heart, and that whenever i was blacking out my heart was doing something irregular... maybe something dangerous. But i have had this thing on for almost a day and a half and i still haven't had "an episode" so they can't record it. This problem might not be solved, and I might have gone through all this... for nothing.

(I think I have new motivation for fear)