Wednesday, September 29, 2004


I was swimming and then I saw something on the bottom of the pool. So I swam down to investigate, holding my breath. It was a hole. I swam in and everything was so bright and beautiful… like a room of crystal lights.
I was running out of air, so I turned back but I couldn't find where I came from. I felt myself get weaker as I felt the oxygen leave my lungs. It got harder and harder to go up getting. I was getting closer and closer to the bottom. I don’t usually get scared but it was different.I WAS scared. Not of dying…. Of not living.

Then it was over.
I had an out of body thing and I saw myself. All I remember was the look of fear… pure and utter fear on my face…

MY face.

Whenever I have to act scared I go back to that room of lights.

I have one for every emotion
I think that’s why I love acting. People can see my true emotion for everything and not know it's me behind the mask. By hiding behind the term "a good actor"
so ask you yourself... am i...

"a good actor?"

Sunday, September 26, 2004

It will be different this time

i'm not going to let this be time number 80 when i get screwed over by a girl and let it slide by just swimming it off.
I'm taking a stand
i'm going to resolve this...

because friendships stand in the balance

Saturday, September 25, 2004

Simple Admitance

I have learned to come to terms with the fact that i'm a jackass. But the thing is. I'm ok with it. Because a close friend helped me see that being a jackass doesn't make me a bad person, all it means is i can be better. According to this person men are naturally that way, but the guys who break out of it are the ones who you truly want to be around. So the fact that i'm a jackass doesn't mean i'm horrible or anything like that, i'm just normal. So i'm working on improving and maybe one day i will be the guy that everyone needs.

Don't think you can convince me that i'm not, because i've made up my mind.

Thursday, September 23, 2004

Just Thinking

She never liked me,
She never wanted me,
I didn’t have a shot to begin with.
I’m done caring.

Don't take it personally,
I just need thinking time.
It isn't you or me,
I've just got lots on my mind.

Wednesday, September 22, 2004


I have just gotten back from my nephews house and he has a console hat has old school Atari games on it, and I have just reaized that there are games that I can be beat by a 6 year old at.

This is crap.

Tuesday, September 21, 2004

If you are bored, smack some penguins

Monday, September 20, 2004

Dry Your Eyes

In one single moment your whole life can turn around
I stand there for a minute staring straight into the ground
Looking to the left slightly then looking back down
The world feels like it's caved in, propped on a frown
Please let me show you where we can only just be for us
I change or I can grow or we can adjust
The wicked thing about us is we always have trust
We can even have an open relationship if we must
I look at her and she stares almost straight back at me
But her eyes glaze over like she looking straight through me
Then her eyes must have closed for what seems an eternity
And when they open up she's looking down at her feet

Dry your eyes mate
I know it's hard to take but her mind has been made up
There's plenty more fish in the sea
Dry your eyes mate
I know you want to make her see how much this pain hurts
But you've got to walk away now
It's over

So then I move my hand up from down by my side
Shaking, my life is crashing before my eyes
Turn the palm of my hand up to face the skies
Touch the bottom of her chin and let out a sigh

Because I can't imagine my life without you and me
There's things I can't imagine doing, things I can't imagine seeing
It weren't supposed to be easy... surely
Please.. please... just.. please

She brings her hands up towards where my hands rested
She wraps her fingers wround mine with the softness she's blessed with
She peels away my fingers looks at me and then gestures
By pushing my hands away to my chest...
From hers.

Dry your eyes mate
I know it's hard to take but her mind has been made up
there's plenty more fish in the sea
Dry your eyes mate
I know you want to make her see how much this pain hurts
But you've got to walk away now
It's over

And I'm just standing there
I can't say a word
Because everythings just gone
I've got nothing... absolutely nothing

Trying to pull her close out of bare desperation
Put my arms around her.. trying to change what she's saying
Pull my head level with hers so she might engage me
Look into her eyes to make her listen again
I'm not gonna simply just go and leave it all now
Because you said it would be forever and that was your vow
And your going let our things simply crash and fall down
Your well out of order now, this is well out of town

She pulls away my arms that are clamped around her waist
Gently pushes me back as she looks at me straight
Turns around so she's now got her back to my face
Takes one step forward... looks back... and then walks away

Dry your eyes mate
I know it's hard to take but her mind has been made up
There's plenty more fish in the sea
Dry your eyes mate
I know you want to make her see how much this pain hurts
But you've got to walk away now
It's over

I know in the past I've found it hard to say
Telling you things but not tell it straight
But the more I pull on your hand and say
The more you pull away

Dry your eyes mate
I know it's hard to take but her mind has been made up
There's plenty more fish in the sea
Dry your eyes mate
I know you want to make her see how much this pain hurts

But you've got to walk away now...

Sunday, September 19, 2004

wasn't chosen

you're lipstick
his collar...
i know exactly what goes on
hoping for the best
but hoping nothing happens
a thousand clever lines unread on clever napkins
i won't ever ask if you don't ever tell me
i know you well enough to know...
you'll never love me

i won't be replying to this, but you all can say whatever you want

Sunday, September 12, 2004

He's Feelin Lonely

Originally uploaded by just call me hot.
This is Mario1, he has a twin brother named Mario2 but tasha has him, he wanted me to let her know that he misses him very much, and wanted shamae to know that she is a big load of... bad... stuff becasue she still; has my c.d.'s. And now i have tasha's support for getting them back because then she gets her new t.b.s. c.d. but anyway, for all my fellow bloggers.

Tasha: mario1 misses his brother, and you need to help get my c.d.'s back from shamae

Shamae: you also need to help me get my c.d.'s back from Shamae.

Sousa: What's up with you never showin up on blogger... dork

Kristi: Ur hot, call me and we'll make out

Jenesse, You are ignorin me, I'm not feelin the love.

The Hoff: I should be a super hero too, And also, I hear your nervous about our group cuz you don't know anyone. No worries, They're the coolest.

Nina: we need to play, maybe i'll give you ice cream

Mariette: wait a secc... Why the crap isn't mariette on blogger?!?!?!?!

Wednesday, September 08, 2004

Just so you know

I would just like erveyone to know how excited I am for the musical that made it so i can't go to shakespeare in which I have no lines whatsoever.

woo... hoo...

Tuesday, September 07, 2004


Today I got things sorted out about homecoming, another perfect ending to aother perfect day.

Monday, September 06, 2004

Don't lose hope

Losing hope is easy,
When your only friend is gone,
And every time you look around,
It all just seems to change.

But hanging on is simple,
When you’ve got a friend to call,
When nothings making sense at all,
You’re not the only one who’s afraid of change.

Sunday, September 05, 2004

A turn of events.

i have been noticing lately that everyone's posts seem to be getting darker and gloomier. so i have decided to take the first step forward in remedying this problem. i quote monty python's flying circus when i say... "always look on the bright side of life.. doo do do do dooo do" there is a reason why i am a possitive and confident person. Becasue im' better than you... and i KNOW it. (just kidding) but seriously you guys, things can't be bad for us all, i don't know about the rest of you but last night was awesome and this week is a serious improvement from last week. Things are looking up for all of us so we should all set out on the next few days with a smile on our face and a star in our pocket (just cuz that's neat)


Friday, September 03, 2004

Double stupid choir teacher and stupid miss vance.

yeah... i'm not on shakespeare. Does anyone know why i'm not on shakespear? i will tell you. BECAUSE THE STUPID EFFING CHOIR TEACHER GAVE A BIG PART!!!!!! not that i'm upset or anything, it's just i wish i was doing shakespeare instead becasue i HATE doing musicals, the are the craps and need to die lots o times. so now i don't get to go on tour, and i have to sing in front of everyone. (the anger... it flows)

Wednesday, September 01, 2004

Stupid Choir Teacher

My perfect plan to get a non-singing part may have failed. I auditioned today and i tried to throw off my singing part by doing it an octive higher so i would naturally sound like crap. But the freakin retards caught me and now i'm upset. When i sang it an octive lower they said I did a good job and i'm just hoping and praying that they were just being polite. And that it actually sucked because if i have to sing a lot in this freakin play someone's gonna die.