I have found my new favorite comedic monologue and it isn't even a monologue, it's just my friend Adam Gentry ranting to me about ties... and here it is
There is an experiment I'd like you to do. Go rummage in your attic/basement/all-purpose storage room and secret laboratory, and find your Christmas decorations. Get out a four-foot-long, bright red ribbon -- the wider, the better. Put said ribbon around your neck, and tie it in a knot, making it just barely loose enough to breathe. Let a two-and-a-half-foot portion of the ribbon hang down in the middle of your front; you are now ready for work.
Okay, not quite, but that's not much more ludicrous than a certain article of clothing which is a mandatory part of the attire of any professional man. Yep, you guessed it: the noose -- er, necktie. It is a bane to the masculine half of the professional world, far worse than any other article of clothing known to male, with the possible exception of dickies (frilly front pieces) and anything pink.
My theory is that it was invented by a crazed woman taking her revenge out on all of manhood, in retaliation against the man who invented the corset. The necktie has no redeeming qualities whatsoever in my eyes, unless, of course, it has become a faux pas to have one's shirt buttons exposed. It does not look pretty like jewelry or a corsage, is not functional like a watch, and it does to a man's neck roughly what a boa constrictor does to a rabbit. The tie could be a neat-looking boa with a cool trombone picture on it, but is a boa, nonetheless.
I'd comment more on this issue, but I have to go make sure my noose is on straight.
I still need to cut it more but i like it a lot... but i don't know if other ppl like it a lot. So please, leave your messages after the beep
Sunday, August 29, 2004
Thrown Down by Cam Cam at 4:52 PM
Thursday, August 26, 2004
Thrown Down by Cam Cam at 10:14 PM
Thisis crap. My birthday is tomorrow and i have to watch that retarded video again. And chances are i didn't make call backs for shakespeare and that's gonna bum me out too. then i have flow jump dance rehearsal which will be cool, but that's not til saturday. so it turns out that i'm spendin my burfday baking myself a cake and watchin re-runs of teenage mutant ninja turtles cuz my sister is coming over. I am mad.
Thrown Down by Cam Cam at 10:06 PM
Ok, It's official, the student council video is clearly the most retarded display of vomit on a screen ever to curse the earth. I watched it with tasha and zeus and we were all on the verge of having our heads explode. for anyone and every one who is going to see it during the assembly on the 27th i feel eternally sorry.
Thrown Down by Cam Cam at 5:11 PM
Wednesday, August 25, 2004
Today was the complete craps. They didn't have any freaking arby's sauce for my roast beef sandwich ttoday at lunch and was ready to kill me a man. but this problem has been remedied and i now have a large supply of arby's sauce that we pilfered (hehe... pilfered... funny word) from arby's and got away with tit scott free... that's right, no scott's here. And then i sucked it up and my freakin audition... hehe ( i wasn't as memorized as i thought i was) and a load of other crap sandwich type items that piled up on all that has thus far come to pass. Now the question of the day is... what is the dumbest language in the universe... if you want the answer look at the replies from my one and only other post to find out oh, by the way, you have a picture of the "sauce stash" and if u don't then mac's are clearly crap.
i'm out like a trout
i'm out like a trout
Thrown Down by Cam Cam at 10:49 PM