I Found a Monologue

I have found my new favorite comedic monologue and it isn't even a monologue, it's just my friend Adam Gentry ranting to me about ties... and here it is

There is an experiment I'd like you to do. Go rummage in your attic/basement/all-purpose storage room and secret laboratory, and find your Christmas decorations. Get out a four-foot-long, bright red ribbon -- the wider, the better. Put said ribbon around your neck, and tie it in a knot, making it just barely loose enough to breathe. Let a two-and-a-half-foot portion of the ribbon hang down in the middle of your front; you are now ready for work.

Okay, not quite, but that's not much more ludicrous than a certain article of clothing which is a mandatory part of the attire of any professional man. Yep, you guessed it: the noose -- er, necktie. It is a bane to the masculine half of the professional world, far worse than any other article of clothing known to male, with the possible exception of dickies (frilly front pieces) and anything pink.

My theory is that it was invented by a crazed woman taking her revenge out on all of manhood, in retaliation against the man who invented the corset. The necktie has no redeeming qualities whatsoever in my eyes, unless, of course, it has become a faux pas to have one's shirt buttons exposed. It does not look pretty like jewelry or a corsage, is not functional like a watch, and it does to a man's neck roughly what a boa constrictor does to a rabbit. The tie could be a neat-looking boa with a cool trombone picture on it, but is a boa, nonetheless.

I'd comment more on this issue, but I have to go make sure my noose is on straight.



I still need to cut it more but i like it a lot... but i don't know if other ppl like it a lot. So please, leave your messages after the beep



*beep*