4 weeks, 3 days, 7 hours, and 20 minutes

4 weeks, 3 days, 7 hours, and 20 minutes - that's how long I was free. That's how long I could think and act for myself without being under someone else's control. Without having someone always looking down on me. That's how much closer I was to being truly happy. Why do people try so hard to make you miserable? Why do they keep hurting you, and saying that it is only out of love, and yet, you know that if they really did care, they wouldn't hurt you... Why do they keep reopening the wound and scratching at it? They tell you that you are worthless and yet, they keep you around. If you are really as stupid, and ugly, and selfish as they say you are, why do they want you here so badly? Why can't they just let me be happy for once in my life...why can't they let me find peace? Home is suppose to be a place of refuge. Somewhere that you go to get away from it all...

On another note: Why do people care so deeply and then throw it all away? Why do they say that they would do anything for you, just so you can smile and really mean it again - and yet they, in the end, are the cause of your pain? They are the reason you can't smile anymore... Why do their eyes light up whenever they think of you, see you, or your name is mentioned, and then, suddenly, one day they hate you? Why do they stop talking to you, and let everything fall apart, and then blame it all on you? Why do they write songs about you that show how much they care, and yet never share them....and then write songs about you that tell how much they hate you, and sing it in front of the entire school? Why do they tell people you "have problems" and that its all your fault? Why do they not work things out when you are ready to and then expect you to work things out when they finally want it? And why do they want to work things out for all the wrong reasons? Why do they expect everything to be how it used to be, when you can never go back to the way it was?

Why do they end up with your best friend?

I refuse to trust again...